Oh, the classic was right: It is easy to love all mankind, with the neighbor manage to fall in love.

Yes – a subject topical. War “those who over”, and “those who under”. Special effects! Dolby Surround sound of footfall and baby’s cry! Piano, violin and loud music! Flood water and furniture dragging! Knocking on batteries and drilling by the puncher. When neighbors from above dance a tap dance, on the right newlyweds swear, at the left nails will earn, well and how in such conditions it is possible to play drums? As with the neighbor to smoke a world bottle, and to dig the war puncher. Here it everything it – the subject “neighbours”.

I don’t know as you, and personally I love the neighbors and I respect. In any case, I try not to clash. And with neighbors in a landing I consider, it was lucky. With inhabitants of the apartment opposite in very friendly relations. Even for the general holidays to each other we call on, we sit at a table and fine we communicate. Neighbors from the apartment at the left also good people, quiet and peaceful. I don’t see them and I don’t hear, so, anything bad you shouldn’t speak about them. Apartment on the right the removable. There young family. First sometimes the guy slipped, and after everything returned to normal. For the rest about neighbors in an entrance of anything bad I can’t tell, probably, that extremely seldom with them I communicate.

More cheerfully to us was to the old address. And if now I divide neighbors on positive (good) and negative (bad), living at the mother-in-law (the sweetest person, but about this ambassador), classification was absolutely another. And ninety percent belonged to a look “goats ordinary”. On behavior and acts they shared on some categories.

“Informers” are people who know everything about all living in the entrance and not only in the. They know practically everything about you and even what you don’t know. All freshest gossips take off from their mouth with such speed that developers of supersonic devices would envy. They present the information with such not broken look and tone that at the person compelled to listen, full nonsense is more often, can’t, and the main thing and shouldn’t arise doubt drops, concerning truthfulness of their story. For them gossips, even gossips ill-natured persons are pleasant, and are very effective against boredom. If information for discussion isn’t present, they feel badly and start sticking the nose there where the dog doesn’t put the. Than big dig out muck – that big test pleasure. For employees of police it is the best civil agents. They see, hear, and the main thing – is remembered by all. There is an impression, what even conduct a database in which information is stored: who, where, when and why (if don’t know, will finish thinking), in what it was dressed and in what condition. Usually they gather in flocks, but there are also “loner informers”. In the majority are pensioners with a good health, but already with dotage manifestation. With type of these people to argue it is absolutely useless, it is possible to incite them against itself only. Therefore it is better to try to avoid simply them and not to enter discussions.

“Morons” – probably, the heaviest type. These don’t see anybody except themselves. They can do repair at night. And knock of a hammer and the puncher doesn’t cease even after when a half of an entrance will make them the remark or will ask to stop rustling. Music in their apartment sounds with such force that the furniture in the neighboring apartment vibrates. Parties at them mass, noisy and till late time. Usually it is people of average years, with a fussy look. All the time something pulling, dragging and bearing. To fight with them it is complicated as will phone at a door and to reach in a wall during their acts it is almost useless. There are people who perceive the world surrounding them generally eyes – “visual perception”. Is through hearing, ears. Type of morons perceive only through touch, that is yet you won’t mutilate them – will understand nothing. The most important to entice it from a den at which it sits. And to hurt mount the head or to shoot a foot.

“Whining” – type of people who always aren’t happy. They are useful and harmful. In a percentage ratio about fifty on fifty. Are useful to that they blow minds to workers of housing and communal services constant complaints, why those though something do on repair of our housing and improvement domestic territories. They are harmful to that are always torn to the conflict, eternally with everything aren’t happy, like to row. More often it is people of a pre-retirement and retirement age, something similar to an ostrich. Foot which will always inform them to the nearest office of police or district executive committee etc., and the head which always can be hidden, having pulled in it in shoulders when receive blow under the back. The main thing in the relations with such people – to learn to reject of them worthy pressure.

“Spies” – these people never on rustle, in difference from “whining” of anybody don’t complain. There is such feeling that they here don’t live, and they in general aren’t present. Probably it is the first enemies of “informers” for the clear reasons on that. It is the most terrible type of neighbors. If they flood you, most likely will refer to neighbors who live a floor above. Even if above only garret and roof. But in order that to show something to them, they should be caught still. For this purpose it is necessary to make long-term ambushes which can not crown success. As the failure reason, most likely, that they watch at this time you in a door peephole will serve. As they look and as in case of need to fight with them – difficult to answer. As fight against the invisible being is problematic.

“Jerks” – the quiet peace persons who absolutely not aren’t interested in public life of housing cooperative and the more so not accepting what participation in it. Everything is good, but irritates in them that they have a hobby always something to beg. At such neighbors always didn’t suffice steam of eggs when they started preparation of any dish, a sugar glass though in their apartment there is the whole bag. Often splashing on an entrance in slippers and a dressing gown, in hands they firmly hold empty container and in the head only one thought: where to ask. Though to take something from them is practically as it is useless how to drill a finger a concrete wall. Image: dressing gown, the shabby slippers, the integral attribute – an empty plateau or a jar and a little guilty look. It isn’t necessary to fight with them. It is simple to cease to be conducted on their compassionate and sentimental stories and not to give money to a salary, advance payment or fast inheritance. As their brain erases automatically information that they have to, right after receiving that they asked.

Look narrowly at the neighbors, and you will see, what type they treat.

People often worry that neighbors can think of them. But tramps and aristocrats don’t pay to anybody attention and arrive as it will like.

Yours faithfully your neighbor psychoanalyst.

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